The lesson went well. My kids worked seriously in pairs. In the first part, when they were asked to identify the techniques used. Almost all of them were capable of pointing out a)action verbs and b) dialogues/conversations. Some brighter ones could point out c) using body movements/gestures.
All of them could distinguish telling from showing, but of course they need more time to practise how to use more showing than telling in their work. During the lesson, my kids were given 20 mins to write a short story and share with the class afterwards. We only had time to read Georgina and Natalie’s work. A story with a sad ending but crazy content, they coud still show more in the middle part and especially when they described “Georgina was deeply in pain.”
Today, we read some more stories written by other pairs. It is not suprising that there are some outstanding work while some still stick to telling more than showing. It’s a good start anyway.
Here’s one of their stories:
A story about Georgina (by Jamillia and Brittany)
“Ah!” Jamilla and Brittany screamed and ran out of the class.
“What’s up?” asked Miss Law.
“There’s a dead…dead spider in… in Brittany and my school bag!” Jamilla replied, holding Brittany’s hand tightly.
“Georgina! Did you do that?” Miss Law asked, cracking her fingers, walking forward to Georgina.
“Miss Law, I know you’ll be teaching us about insects this lesson. I just want Jamilla and Brittany to know more about spiders!” said Georgina, turning her pen and whistled.
“Would you like me to inform Mr. Chow and tell him about it?” Miss Law was red.
“Come on, Miss Law. I’m just playing with them. I know they won’t mind. Don’t be serious!” Georgina explained.
“Okay,” Miss Law softened her voice a bit. “Finish the whole copybook during lunchtime, if not, you can’t have your lunch.”
“No! Cato promised to give me my favourite chicken wings, Miss Law. I know you are very kind, beautiful, helpful…”
A Story about Georgina (by Stephanie and Lauren)
(I edited their story a bit)
Georgina walked to and fro outside the classroom, minding her own businesses. When she heard Miss Law’s footsteps, she quickly ran back to her seat and shouted, “Stand up!”
As Miss Law stepped inside the room, Georgina smiled, “Good morning, Miss Law!”
“Morning girls. Sit down please.”
“Miss Law, I know you’re tired. Sit down and have a rest!” Georgina said as she covered her smiling face with her dirty, gluey hand.
“Okay, let’s turn to p.2. Today we’ll…” Miss Law finally sat down and soon jiggled around.
“Miss Law, what are feeling sick?” Georgina suddenly brusted with laughter. She lied on the floor and laughed crazily.
“What’s up, Georgina?” Stephanie, sitting next to her wondered.
Miss Law stared at Georgina and suddenly threw her bottle towards her. Georgina ducked her head.
“Splash!” It hit hard on the floor and broke.
“Georgina, dont’ you dare play tricks on your teacher!” Miss Law blushed and shouted.
Stilll rolling on the floor laughing, Gerogina continued, “Ha…Miss Law. Seems like you have to buy a new water bottle! Ha..ha…”
My principal advised me to have some indivdual work first before the pairwork. Besides, I think I should have asked the class to brainstorm some ideas about the short wriring task and came up with more action verbs/ gestures before carrying out the task.
***After reading more of their friends’ stories, I discussed with my kids further on the proportion of showing and telling. They were able to explain when to tell / when to show more/ and the reasons behind. Needless to say, the key point is to write more.